'poetry'

"Arts. AAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRTTTTTTTTTTTTSSSSSSSSSSSSS."

This was great. I used to date a survivor (to be precise she was a Baby Lift baby, from the plane that wasn't shot down) but was also raped at a festival before I got to know her and we started dating. So for me, it was a bit of a double-whammy as she was extremely suicidal and binge drank, something that the 19-year-old me did nothing but support. When I saw her making out with someone else at a party, I just left, and she followed after me, like "why are you leaving?" I turned out using my lifeguard skills to save her from a freezing lake that night, because she wanted to go out like Jeff Buckley. I broke up with her soon after that, but was always worried. Frankly I loved her more than anything in the world but I couldn't fathom the PTSD. I felt horrible about leaving like I did, and we didn't see each other for years and years. Frankly I thought she had tried it again, even though I was married. But then she popped up on facebook, stronger than ever, literally. She owns a fucking gym now, and is married and is happy. Go girl!!! (thanks for listening poetv therapists)

How to properly deal with trauma:
1) Make an enemy out of literally everyone
2) Let outrage become your only source of motivation and self worth
3) Create a microblog wherein you post nothing but bad webcomics drawn by other people

5 for utter shit.

I guess "poem" equals "lecture" to some people. It's not that I disagree with the sentiment, per se, but jesus.....

How long until Synchronized Outrage makes the Olympics? 2034?

Yeah people with rape need to get over it. Here's an example--one time I bought a copy of Just Cause 2 on Steam for full price and--guess what!--two days later it went on sale! But did I get all "outraged" about it? No! I sucked it up and dealt with it, and women should do the same.

This platform seems like it's ripe for abuse. I like to think I understand the arguments here, but it seems like this venue might also attract people who enjoy being righteously outraged (maybe without justification?), people who are really just looking for a chance to basically masturbate in public. But really, I'm a 31 year old guy who's been in a very male dominated industry for a while now, so my perception might well be skewed...

My thought as I was watching: "I agree with the sentiment, but the delivery is annoying. Still, those women are performing their asses off, can't deny that!"

Then I hit "Oh shit, musta been a ghost then!" and I now reverse my "delivery is annoying" part. That was awesome.

Insufferable.

I wonder where these cunts hang out that rape jokes are fucking rampant. I can only think of one single rape joke I've ever heard (it involves clowns), and it's hilarious.

WHY IN THE ASS

WHY TEN TIMES

Ever notice how people who say "rape jokes" don't seem to like _any_ jokes?

That was a terrible rape joke.

Here's a better one:

This guy is out hiking in the woods when he hears someone call for help. He goes to investigate and finds a naked man covered in scratches & bruises. He appears to be hugging a tree but on closer inspection the hiker sees the guy's wrists have been tightly bound on the other side of the trunk.

"Oh my God!" exclaims the hiker, "Are you okay?"

"Thank God you're here!" cries the young man, craning his neck around to look at the hiker. "Untie me, quick!"

"What happened? asks the hiker making his way closer.

"Well," explains the naked guy, "I drove up here with this girl I've been trying to nail. Once we were deep in the woods, I told her she could put out or start walking. So she acted like we were going to do it, but as soon as all my clothes were off, the bitch kicked me in the balls, shoved me out of my fucking car and drove off."

"Uh...wow..." says the hiker.

"So I started running down the road after her, but as I was running along, a God-damned grizzly bear came busting out of the bushes on the side of the road. I dove into the woods on the other side and started running."

"Holy shit!"

"Yeah, so I'm running and getting all torn up by holly leaves and shit and I look back to see if the fucking bear is still after me and I don't see that I'm coming to a steep hill. I run right off it and start rolling down."

"Damn!"

"And I get all banged up on rocks on the way down, but I get stopped by a dead log lying part way down the hill."

"Well, that's lucky."

"NO! It was full of bees! And my cock had slammed right up against the knothole they use to go in and out."

"Oh, fuck!"

"So I get stung a couple of times, jump up and half-run/half-tumble the rest of the way down the hill and run through some more bushes until I'm sure the bear and the bees aren't chasing me anymore."

"How did you get tied up like this."

"Well, I'm holding my throbbing dick, panting and gasping for breath when I look up and see this little kid in a cub scout uniform. He looks scared as Hell."

"Uh-oh."

"Yeah, the little shit starts screaming bloody murder and just as I run forward and slap my hand over his mouth, a whole bunch of scouts come rushing out of the trees along with two scout masters."

"Aw, geez..."

"They beat the shit out of me and left me tied to this tree! They went to get a ranger. You gotta help me out of here, fast!"

The hiker takes a good look around and steps up behind the guy tied to the tree. "Dude," he says pulling down his zipper, "this just isn't your day."

LovelyYTRocks1 week ago

So did they get raped or something?
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Mike Hunt1 week ago

Those two? Unlikely.

So what the fuck kind of competition was this, where this dog shit made it to the finals?

every gasp for air sounds like a zipper being torn off its teeth

There's already a much, much better poem about rape jokes, called "Rape Joke." These two are kind of trying to gild the lily here.

http://www.theawl.com/2013/07/rape-joke-patricia-lockwood