If I know anything about Chuck Norris, he must only warn about the shockwaves from his roundhouse kick to the government, which may cause pacemakers to malfunction but little else.

I can't Chuck Norris and this guy has a voice like sandpaper on glass. Five stars.

We have a senility tag, people. Let's use it.

It's almost like you can't invent this shit, it has to come naturally from the retarded right wing in this country. Not only is the conspiracy that Obama will use the Marines to invade Texas and take guns (and bibles), but that unused tunnels beneath Wal Marts will somehow pave the way for a Chinese invasion of the US.

just in case anyone is surprised by mr norris' strange perspective:

http://www.nndb.com/people/152/000024080/

can't vouch for how authentic nndb is, but it's at least a fun way to track your favorite nutty celebs when they're not in the news