For the longest time I was confused as to why other men would need to buy a back scratcher.

Chivalry is alive and well with tapirs: a male quickly comes along to scratch her itch.

From wikipedia:

'Female Tapirs are the only mammal with similar vaginal canals as ducks. Key differences are, scissor like mandibles, a passage to the esophagus and bile ducts, which are used to discourage offending and unwanted males.

Males have the limited ability to regrow lost sections of genitalia. Reports show that over age the regrowths become more frail and vulnerable to infection and breakage.'

I regrow lost erections every day.

Unless they mean that tapirs have a limited lifetime allowance of boners, which D:

Shoebox Joe just made that up. Am I gullible for looking it up to check?

Potrod. No, no, not at all. Interesting fact though, Tapirs are so gullible that their picture is in the dictionary.

Limited lifetime allowance of boners :)

Oh poop. Tapirs are cute! Plus the got the cox 4 days