boner  - 2016-10-27
I like that wikipedia has a page just for this sketch, with charts of the election results.
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Caminante Nocturno - 2016-10-27
I voted for Malcolm Peter Brian Telescope Adrian Umbrella Stand Jasper Wednesday (pops mouth twice) Stoatgobbler John Raw Vegetable (whinnying) Arthur Norman Michael (blows squeaker) Featherstone Smith (whistle) Northcott Edwards Harris (fires pistol, then 'whoop') Mason (chuff-chuff-chuff-chuff) Frampton Jones Fruitbat Gilbert (sings) 'We'll keep a welcome in the' (three shots) Williams If I Could Walk That Way Jenkin (squeaker) Tiger-drawers Pratt Thompson (sings) 'Raindrops Keep Falling On My Head' Darcy Carter (horn) Pussycat (sings) 'Don't Sleep In The Subway' Barton Mainwaring (hoot, 'whoop') Smith, and I don't regret it.
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Xenocide - 2016-10-28 It's like the Super Bowl. The outcome of the game is usually a foregone conclusion before it even starts, but the networks need you to stick around to watch the commercials so they try to pretend it's a nail-biter.
"Well, Mark, as you can see, Dallas is leading Buffalo 743-2 here at the end of the first quarter. Lots of game left to play, anything can happen, really exciting. Let's talk about how Buffalo could still win if the entire Cowboy offensive gets killed by stampeding hippos during halftime."
They basically do that with election coverage too.
"Well, Mark, as we begin our election night coverage we have hundreds of thousands of polls which all say that Donald Trump will lose. So there's a lot of suspense, anything could happen, really exciting. But for now, let's kill some time by checking in with our correspondents. Joan, how does the senate look?"
"IT'S A LARGE BUILDING WITH COLUMNS."
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That guy - 2016-10-28
I've just heard from Luton- that my aunt is ill.
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