I submitted this a week ago but it never showed up. SHUUUUUT UP.

DEAR JESUS CHRIST IN HEAVEN I HAVE NEVER WANTED TO PUNCH A PERSON SO HARD

I'm SOReeeeeeeeeee. exCUSE my BYEWteeeeeeee.

PLEASE WHINE MORE. YOU ARE NOT WHINING ENOUGH.

Oh, i remember this. Hooray Albuquerque!! You can't film COPS here anymore, sadly.

I won't work my looks no more

Oh god, the face.

"I have a warrant for your arrest." "No you don't."

He sounds like he's perpetually trying to sleep five more minutes before getting up for school.

Stretch marks... on a face?

It's like the drag queen version of Mr. Slave. Jesus Christ!

She's a fatter, uglier Terry from Reno 911!

Exhibit A in my case asserting that COPS is the best TV show ever.

I've now lost all faith in humanity.

wooowww.

Cousin Tate from Paseo Del Volcano totally flaked.

"I'll leave okay? I won't evver doit-I'll be a boy for you." Good lad.

eww

I like how the cop calls him "steven" with no trace of irony

creepy