I suppose his rocking is a sure sign of self-confidence.

Ah, online dating.

Oh god...

so after I see your pretty face... I immediately begin dreaming up new ways to torture you in my secret rapedungeon

I like to play full out. Are you open and ready for that?

Why is it that everyone on these online dating things has ridiculously high standards?

I like how he manages to hold back the crazy for a full minute before the dam breaks and it all comes pouring through.

Good day, Mr. Kubrick.

It's so strange how he goes from "Rugged Gentleman" to "Creepy guy" so fast.

"I'll probably challenge you, and surprise you sexually."

... you getting any from this video would certainly be a surprise, I concur.

Great. Now I need a shower after watching this.

just ponder that. you don't have to answer me.
.... ever.

Anyone who uses the word "fashionista" is either gay, or a douche. Or a gay douche.

Why did I keep thinking "Please don't open the door behind you... Please don't open the door..."?

futurefuturebot

i'll probably challenge you...then throw you in my trunk...

Those tags suck balls. Where's all the usual POEprofessors screaming that 'receding' is spelled incorrectly?

Was the "parole officer" supposed to be a joke? I can't be sure.

Ugh.


If my former stepfather made an online dating profile, this would be exactly it, I'm sure.


Ugh.

...and you care for your precious body...because it will taste wonderful in my giant stewpot.

you had me at "integrated self"

'This video has been removed by the user.'

This means either he found true love, or he lives in a state where it illegal for sexual predators to own a computer.