5 seconds.

2 seconds. Her voice did me in.

Damnit. Poe was doing fine without her being submitted.

Five stars anyways because I have a penis.

20 seconds. You're not twelve anymore, bitch.

2:52 Across The Universe..bye

"um, such as, like, like" at :42

I stopped there.


TRY HARDER TO BE WACKY.

i'm pretty sure this is some dumb LonelyGirl type bullshit

Truly evil enough.

So, I can't see this generation ever actually working. That blows my mind.

Oh god... 4chan is here.

I'm the prince of patience, and I did it. I made it through. The technique applied was imagining parts of my body preventing sound from escaping this young banshee.

Feel free to try for yourselves, but be forewarned that it will leave some scar tissue on your mind.

so.. this was like, voted out of the hopper or what?

Why shouldn't rats eat a de la Poer as a de la Poer eats forbidden things? ... The war ate my boy, damn them all ... and the Yanks ate Carfax with flames and burnt Grandsire Delapore and the secret ... No, no, I tell you, I am not that daemon swineherd in the twilit grotto! It was not Edward Norrys' fat face on that flabby fungous thing! Who says I am a de la Poer? He lived, but my boy died! ... Shall a Norrys hold the land of a de la Poer? ... It's voodoo, I tell you ... that spotted snake ... Curse you, Thornton, I'll teach you to faint at what my family do! ... 'Sblood, thou stinkard, I'll learn ye how to gust ... wolde ye swynke me thilke wys?... Magna Mater! Magna Mater!... Atys... Dia ad aghaidh's ad aodaun... agus bas dunarch ort! Dhonas 's dholas ort, agus leat-sa!... Ungl unl... rrlh ... chchch...

Made it through by pretending I was a very resigned Sharky watching a dancing chicken.

She's an adorable troll/performance character.

13 seconds

I made it to the part where she acted all precious and made no sense. Let me get liquored up a bit and we'll try another second.

1 star for each minute I couldn't get through.

so after "fag", "hipster" is the most misused invective at POE right?

Boxy + Pocky = Love

made it about 2 minutes

49 seconds of pure stupid.

16 seconds and I wanted someone to smack the back of her head.

I lasted, every damn second. Didn't help my misogyny at all though ill be honest. I hope she gets the abusive boyfriend who gives her herpes sooner in life then later.

4chan should stay in 4chan

How long before Spikebravo creates a video declaring his undying love for this concentrated mass of resonating obnoxiousness?

3:21.

"...my hair got longer you guys..."

25 seconds. I'm reminded of Xiphias's Effects of LSD on a Grocery Bag submission.

"I don't do drugs... and I don't have ADD either"


Well her appeal rapidly shrank

Shut the fuck up.

"And, like, um, and so, then..."

Oh man, I probably have less than 14 years left to make sure my 2-year-old doesn't become like this. Is that enough time?

22 seconds.
Second attempt: 13.

If I were trapped in the room with her I'd strange her.

she is like an adorable little squirrel.

where's my squirrelapult?

3 1/2 minutes, but to be honest the last minute I was just scrolling through the comments.

Likely would have made it through the whole thing if I didn't run out of comments.

She will grow up to run for Vice President.

Trying way, way, WAYYYYYY too hard.

But good luck on that.

One of my guy friends is a bit like the male equivalent of this chick. *shudders*

I made it through the whole thing. It doesn't get any better. Plus, who actually loves Across the Universe?

I did it. I made it through the whole thing.
Ow.

I'm not normally like this, I'm very liberal, but can't help thinking my cock in her mouth would shut her up. And all her spastic head movements would probably make it amazing.
The mascara smears on my stomach would be weird though.

made it through the whole thing. don't know how.

TRY. HARDER.

OW MY EYES

AND EARS

I WATCHED THE WHOLE FUCKING THING I HATE MYSELF

I want to make her take a bath in hydrofluoric acid. That being said, I'm almost positive that's the reaction she's trying to evoke. I hope to fucking God there aren't people that are genuinely like this.

boxxybabee, some serious advice: the only thing crayon-thick mascara like that says is "evil stepfather", so it it's a pain putting it on, don't bother.

itsaneternityinthere

All the way through. You guys are worthless and weak.

Hell, I had to watch it twice before I was finished...

Her delivery reminds me of Maria Bamford.

29 seconds, which is 9 seconds longer than I could make it through the The Secret Lady.

On my second try I saw that "such as like" has made it into the permanent vernacular, so 5 stars for the undying power of Miss Teen South Carolina, I guess...

Emo Phillips. Her intonation makes me think Emo Phillips.

"I don't do drugs, and I don't have ADD either!"

Well, you're out of excuses, then.

One minute.

hey guys lets give the camwhore attention

Wow!
She just had a 5:07 brain fart.
I watched it all.
If I sat on her face do you think she would shut up?

Stopped at 1:20 when she said BOXXXXYYY PLUS POCKKYYYYY EQUALS LOVVVVVVEEEEE.

This is definitely going in HLSS. Boxxy, you are my favorite girl. Just don't fucking meet me in person or I'm going to slam your head in my car door repeatedly.

59 seconds.

I would totally put up with 5 minutes and 7 seconds of this girls ramblings in order to bang her in the pooper

too much eye makup

im drumkk

My anus is clenched so tightly after watching that video I swear the pressure could snap a maglight. Fuck. One star for every chicken I had to strangle after watching this.

That's one "babee" I'd like to "boxxy".

3 fucking seconds. Jesus.

5:07 but I was gripping the fuck out of my chair the whole time

The remixes are wonderful, by the way.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=13QmpqF9G8E

this one time at band camp...

She's not taking drugs?? pfffft. She's doing it wrong.

The rapidly changing facial expressions frighten me. The low-framerate webcam doesn't help either.

35 Seconds and that was pushing it. Christ.

1:13

Some of the whitest teeth I've ever come across.

2 seconds

2:03 moved on to bigger better things

It's not that MY FEEBLE BRAIN CAN'T HANDLE THE AWESOME POWER OF BOXEEE BAYBEE or whatever, I just seriously have better shit to do with my time than watch this dumb bint ramble for five minutes about who knows the fuck what.

There are cat videos to be watched!

Got all the way through. Had to minimize though, that's probably cheating. Also I ate my fist a few times.

Jesus Christ what the hell woman WHAT THE HELL?!

Couldn't even fap to it. Thank god someone called me at 3:02

Someone remind me why 4chan loves this...Thing?

Young girl talking about herself.
http://www.poetv.com/video.php?vid=51141

Well, five stars for this turning up in the paper. No stars for the video itself.

1:26. She's fucked.

Are you all posting how long it took you to splurt?

Shes a younnng girlll talking about herrrselff.
http://www.poetv.com/video.php?vid=51141


"bang her in the pooper"

32 seconds, but only because I really like How I Met Your Mother.

42 seconds, no end in sight.

Did it all. Does that mean there's something wrong with me?

Whole thing.

SHE BE ROLLLLIIINNNGG!!

1.05 I thought I'd try to be a tough guy and sit all the way through it but she beat me.

parents, hit your children. or this happens.

She needs to be slapped repeatedly.

I made it 38 seconds............but I am on recreational medication right now...

People starting a sentence with the word "so" = nails on a fucking chalkboard.

I don't get the fanaticism behind her. I thought that people hated Valley Girl Speech. I think that because her fans are attracted to her it makes what she's saying seem ten times better in their minds. It's either that or they just don't care what she's saying because they hit mute and masturbate.

It's frustrating that people are applauding her for acting this way. I know that people think it's cute, but she's not a child. People should start expecting more from women or they'll all end up like this. (Assuming that there are some out there that act reasonably, feel free to make jokes that there are none.) If you're fine with that, then I question your ethics and taste.

I watched the whole thing while cringing. By the end, I wanted to retaliate against whatever created this.

0:51 Moonites?

2:12, when trolls were the subject of something. My brain has now reached tapioca.

1:06 but only because I was amazing her taking a cumshot.

Yeah, I know. Isn't Boxxy awesome? I've seen this like a hundred times, and it just gets funnier and funnier.

4:00, I literally felt sick.

Two years and counting.

This video changed my life, and this is where I first encountered it. I'm internet friends with her mom now.

The original Boxxy videos were made by Catie Wayne in January of 2008, when was 15, for a couple of her friends on Gaia online.

Gaia is a site that is inspired by anime, and I think it's pretty clear that Gaia is the key to understanding Boxxy's character. Catie is playing the role of her Gaia avatar, and that's a cartoon. She's made six videos as Boxxy (this is the third) and the eye makeup continues to become more stylized, and successful at approximating the look of anime eyes. There's so much more going on here than most of you see, but I'm not going to waste my time trying to sell her.

Catie just left those first two Boxxy videos out there, and forgot about them, until the internet started to notice. It took about a year.

What happened when it got to 4chan hasn't got much to do with her. She responded to her first 4chan fans, like the kid who wanted to sing Hey Jude to her, with this video, and that was all she ever did, with no idea what she was getting into. After that, Boxxy became the object of a "4chan civil war", which was every bit as much of an explosion of faggotry as it sounds.


As a noncombatant and no lover of 4chan, I really don't want to take sides, but it started with Boxxy being a weapon, and wound up with Catie being a target. Btards hunted her down and tried to silence her. Her youtube account was hacked, They devoted a ridiculous amount of attention to learning her real name, and then they released her documents to the internet. They organized trips to her house, and left "ANON" on her front porch in petals from a neighbor's flower garden. (These may have been fans, but how was she to tell the difference). People are still posting rape porn and photoshopped Bukkake porn on Unichan.org.


Why do some people love Boxxy so much? Because some people hate her. And we hate them.

The famous copypasta from ED:

“I like Boxxy, and here's why. I'm not post pubescent (over 25), I have a girlfriend, and I don't fantasize about her. I like her because she is the antidote, the antithesis, the hemlock in the cup to Internet Tough Guyism.

I was surprised to see that, for all its posturing, /b/ really does hold one thing sacred: its "bad muthaf*cka" image of itself. /b/ really believes that it's frightening, that it's tougher than a Ford Chevy, that it's badass masculinity personified, in a sense. And, before, there were very few ways to disrupt this image, to give it a good hard kick in the shins.

And then Boxxy came along. Boxxy love is everything /b/ hates - passive, gentle, adorable, sweet. It gives without asking, it loves without asking in return. Instead of being aggressively faux-adult, it's happily faux-childlike. That's why Boxxy became a meme - because she DIDN'T want the attention; because she provided no pics (as the /b/tards will attest). As a result, Boxxy turned into the most successful way to troll the /b/tards ever devised. It actually makes the gore and violence and sexism and racism fantards squeal, because it hits them where it hurts - in their image of themselves. How can they be tough, scary guys when their favorite hangout is one long love poem to Boxxy love? So that's why I love Boxxy - the sound of /b/'s humiliation is sweet music to my ears."

Oh, and she's incredibly talented. Like I've said before, people who don't understand that remind of the idiots who thought the Sex Pistols didn't know how to play music. I can appreciate that, like opera, Boxxy is hard to sit through at first, but try and take notice of how she uses her eyes to punctuate her monologue. For the past two years, since I've been aware of it, I've never seen anybody who can use their eyes like that. She must be aware of where her eyes are every second that she's talking, and the framing is pretty amazing. There are times when she seems to be poking her head out through that little window, She seems to know how she's being framed at every minute, but she's never obviously looking at a monitor. If it's so easy, why is no one else doing it?

Likewise the lighting. Eventually, you realize that she isn't sitting in front of a black backdrop, she's sitting in a room surrounded by objects that are in darkness, while she's lit. It's probably a standard trick that theater people know, but I've never seen anyone else do that in a youtube vlog-style video. Alex Jones tried to do something similar in a video, and it looked like shit.

"On this day 2009"

And now it's 2013. Boxxy, your fifteen minutes of fame are just about over.

The tiitle is astonishingly clueless. Or maybe it's ironic? Actually, i think it's both.

To sum up: Boxxy is an anime character. I don't think my friends at POETV want me to go through all the explanations, but If you just want someone to painlessly tell you what Boxxy is, trust me: "anime charcter" is the answer.

Here she is in her 2012 Halloween costume: Hatsune Miku

http://youtu.be/4c2JWOCHEDM

Has it been five years already?