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Comment count is 38
robotkarateman - 2009-04-16

I believe the Federal government has become oppressive. I believe Texans need to be free. Free to beat up any faggots they find. Free to refuse niggers service in their restaurants. Free to shoot at any beaners they find on their farms. Free to teach the truth that the world was made by a space ghost who is everywhere at once but no longer directly interferes with our freedoms.

Texans need to be heard.

kiint - 2009-04-16

stars 4 u

Hooper_X - 2009-04-16

Man, I wish the world had been created by Space Ghost. Under that cosmology, I think Moltar is technically Satan and Brak is some kind of demi-urge.

Rovin - 2009-04-16

Brak would make a very entertaining God.

Camonk - 2009-04-16

I'd go to church for that shit. Did you see him do Tell Me Ma?

Brak has got CHOPS.

Rovin - 2009-04-16

The very idea of the book of Genesis rewritten along the lines of Brak's Cartoon Planet masterpiece "What Day Is It?" is the sort of reason the world needs a return of The Brak Show.

The Townleybomb - 2009-04-16

I am all for letting them secede, but not before a march from suburban Dallas to the sea.

oogaBooga - 2009-04-16

Texas can secede as long as they know theyre not getting their deposit back.

The Snickler - 2009-04-16

Correct me if I am wrong, but isn't this the same Fuck-O that just requested 1000 Federally funded troops on his border with Mexico?

I say if we have to have a border fence we should build it in a manner which seperates Texas from the rest of the U.S. I would eat glass before moving having anything to do with that shit-hole state.

The Snickler - 2009-04-16

I mean before moving to or having anything to do with that shit-hole state. Dammit.

Stog - 2009-04-16

Yes, he is. He also rejected stimulus funds that would have helped driven down the badass unemployment wave that's going on right now.

Rick Perry is a fucking asshole.

zatojones - 2009-04-16

And a certified back sliding, flip flipping blowhard

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/04/0 3/AR2009040301776.html

SteamPoweredKleenex - 2009-04-16

Dear Texas,

Do it. We dare you. If you don't cut yourself off financially and territorially from the rest of the United States, you are a land of pussies.*


* It's like a magic word to Texans and rednecks; If they don't react with violence upon hearimg it, their lower intestines disintegrate.

citrusmirakel - 2009-04-16

Betcha won't! Cause you guys are huge pussies!

Pussies! Pussies! Betchya that you'll never EVER secede from the union, and take Mississippi and Flordia with you! And it's a good thing you won't secede either, cause we're gonna outlaw guns and mustaches, and it's going to be a federal crime to shop at Sam's Club.

kingarthur - 2009-04-16

Thos of us in Mississippi who live south of I-10 would like it to be known that we prefer to have little to nothing to do with the rest of our state.

kingarthur - 2009-04-16

It's that we have more in common with our aquatic neighbors, really. Kinda like Mobile and the rest of Alabama (Leprechauns!) or New Orleans and the rest of Louisiana.

StanleyPain - 2009-04-16

Ladies and gentlemen, I called this press conference today to tell you that the 10th Amendment is pretty cool and, in fact, exists.

Thank you.

Adham Nu'man - 2009-04-16

I'm a foreigner. I've been to the US several times. New York, Massachussets (or however it's spelled), Florida, Arizona and Texas.

I found Texans to be the friendliest, coolest people of all. Yet, politically, I don't fucking know... How to reconcile my feelings?

ProfessorChaos - 2009-04-16

They are friendly because they have to be. Too many of them are packing guns.

HURF BLURF DUH - 2009-04-16

Are you white? Question answered.

Hooper_X - 2009-04-16

White AND straight. Get it right.

Unless you were in Austin, in which case all bets are off, because Austin is this random cool-ass college town in the middle of, uh... well, Texas.

lucienpsinger - 2009-04-16

It's weird. Texas sucks. But then right in the middle of it is Austin, which is awesome. And then right in the middle of THAT is the capitol, where this dickhole is holding a press conference.

Dan Druff - 2009-04-16

PLEASE let this happen. Preferably as soon as possible.

I'm still living here for a little while longer. I want texas to become it's own country, just so I can have the honour of being one of the first to leave.

facek - 2009-04-16

President Norris and I will miss you.

kingarthur - 2009-04-16

Secession? REALLY? We're actually having this discussion? Somebody pinch me. I am caught in some da-da-ist nightmare.

anotherdeadhero - 2009-04-16

Rick Perry is a twat, can't wait for him to be gone. Worst governor ever.

Camonk - 2009-04-16

And yet longest serving. Longest serving governor in Texas. That's wretchedly sad.

PegLegPete - 2009-04-16

How the fuck are Texans being "oppressed"?

zatojones - 2009-04-16

There's a Democrat in the White House! Do we have to draw you a map or something?

Dutch Oven Fresh Pie - 2009-04-16

I want to hear more about Dick Armey and teabagging.

Camonk - 2009-04-16

Yes, Governor Goodhair Perry and many Texans are assholes.

No, this is not about secession. Something like 21 states have declared their sovereignty over the last twenty years or so as weak-wristed, meaningless political statements.

Perry is a cocksucking (literally) asshole, though. Elected despite 65% of the state voting for someone else.

Hooper_X - 2009-04-16

Yeah. It's hardly anything new, but it's a big deal now because UNGH SOCIALISMS.

Apparently Georgia passed a similar thing through the state Senate on the last day without telling anyone. Didn't clear the House, so whatever, but seriously? Seriously?


mcsancherson - 2009-04-16

This isn't a secession bill at all, and if it was, Texas is basically the only state in the south (or almost anywhere in red america) that would be a financial loss to the union. Most of the deep south states take in about twice the dollar amount that they contribute in taxes in federal spending. Basically they're welfare queens.

erratic - 2009-04-16

Hey Texas, looks like secession really is an option. Wanna try it? Looks kinda dangerous. I don't know. I mean, you don't have to...if you don't want to.

Rovin - 2009-04-16

This is all some sort of over-response to there not being enough Lone Star Edition Dodge pickups to meet demand, right?

Hooper_X - 2009-04-16

So if Texas secedes, can we invade them and take their oil? I mean, they'd clearly be willing to do the same thing to us.


dorje - 2009-04-16

"...greater burden, if you will, on, uh, the citizens of the state - particularly, uh, the job-creators of the state, so; ummm, I would say that, uh, I - I - you can read between the lines pretty good on that, y'know, got some concerns about it..."

Lindner - 2009-04-17

... god damn it. I thought this was a joke when I first heard about it. Why do you have to embarrass me every time we have company over, Texas?

Guys... I'm sorry. Let me take responsibility on the state's behalf. Perry's a fucking moron. This isn't revelation to you and it's not really revelation to alot of us. We're also sorry about the Dubya thing. We were as shocked as you were when he got a second term.

Oh yeah. And we're sorry about Sheila Jackson-Lee.

And Kay Bailey Hutchison.

Can we be friends now?

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