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Desc:Step aside, CWC
Category:Horror, Humor
Tags:wiccans, white people, curse, VampiricSpektor, criminally ugly
Submitted:Monkey Napoleon
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Favorited 5 Times
Buy Song:iTunes - Amazon
Resubmit:Monkey Napoleon

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Comment count is 65
BorrowedSolution - 2010-02-28
None of my sphincters knew what to do about this. Clench up and pray for the best, or let go and hope the mess will dissuade the beast from consuming me?

Also; is there a criminally ugly tag?
the_clencher - 2010-03-01
I'd go with option A.

James Woods - 2010-03-01
I tried B. I survived. B worked.

BorrowedSolution - 2010-03-01
Haha, James pooped his pants.

spikestoyiu - 2010-02-28
So they've got spells that'll enable you to kill someone you've never met or don't even know the name of, but they don't have spells that help you lose weight?

Strong ending, BTW.
Rudy - 2010-03-02
Yup. You don't even need DNA!

Ursa_minor - 2010-02-28
Enjoy - 2010-02-28
You weren't kidding.

Squeamish - 2010-02-28


Camonk - 2010-02-28
I spent most of the video in another window, just listening. So I had to rewind for that.

And now I remember what bile tastes like up yours

millerman13 - 2010-02-28
The American flag t-shirt did me in. 5 stars.
NewHeavenSalesman - 2010-02-28
Eggplant Wizard: Confirmed for Brawl.
Ursa_minor - 2010-02-28
ahahah, christ this is terrifying
Jim Quin - 2010-02-28
This one has a Daemon inside of it alright. Inquisitors have identified it as a Great Unclean One.
dr_rock - 2010-03-01
True. I think he made me cast "The Putrid Fountain" all over myself.

kennydra - 2010-02-28
I shat myself at the end. That face. That laugh. *shivers*

And this thing has a boyfriend? and has 00 to send to meth heads? Whaaa?
mashedtater - 2010-02-28
8th wonder of the world

baleen - 2010-03-01

Yeah, of all the internet witches out there, this is the only one that I actually believe is capable of genuine vexing.

Gayperson - 2010-02-28
is it male or female?
CapnJesusHood - 2010-02-28
Signs point to dude.

Gayperson - 2010-02-28
oh, my. i wonder if i can get him to give me some meth money.

Candlejackv616 - 2010-03-01
I want to trick him into sending me burgers, in the mail one by one each week. I will convince him I'm going to make a burger golem once i have a enough burgers. In reality on my end record the making of the burgers golem which would consist of nothing more than a cheap suit covered in burgers. Eventually when I tell him I have enough to "complete the ritual" in correspondence then via webcam have a friend of mine (or a hobo iv paid) then wear said suit and proceed "come to life" after I halfheartedly chant something or the other, pretend to kill me then proceed to on cut off the connection.

Konversekid - 2010-03-01
A dude with a boyfriend?

Monkey Napoleon - 2010-02-28
BEHOLD MORTALS! You bare witness to the perfect fusion of righteous flaming queen, fugly hambeast wiccan, and animutard shut-in!

I wish there was more to submit. I could only find two vids that actually show him. All the others are only audio.

My spells working my eyes are glowing.
memedumpster - 2010-03-01
It seems others have mirrored his videos. Unfortunately, once you've had this person burned into your brain, they all seem sort of the same.

Camonk - 2010-02-28
Nice big gulp.

I mean that literally. Please don't have me sent to jail.
Squeamish - 2010-02-28
Her face looks like it's stuffed with packing material.
Stopheles - 2010-02-28
"By the way, this will not work on the weak-minded. I MEAN ER UM"
Riskbreaker - 2010-02-28
For fuck sake! At least Chris Chan looks human, this thing crawled from the dephts of hell.
James Woods - 2010-03-01
Can you imagine if they were introduced?

The End.

charmlessman - 2010-03-01
Damn it James, fuck you!!!

retrocious - 2010-02-28
Yeah, I'd say you've cursed that webcam alright.
CapnJesusHood - 2010-02-28
I'll be honest, I feel bad making fun of someone based solely on their looks. So I'm really grateful when tragically freakish human beings act like complete tools, cause it makes my unkind thoughts feel justified. So thanks for thinking you're a wizard, you ugly fuck.
kwash - 2010-03-01
However, you realize that the only reason it thinks it's a wizard is because people making fun of it forced it to retreat into a fantasy world where it still holds some semblance of control and power over the world.

And yes, I'm not sure on the gender. That's why 5.

CapnJesusHood - 2010-03-01
Not necessarily. Not all ugly, easily-mocked people become youtube thaumaturgists. And some delusional weirdos are quite normal looking. So I don't think we can blame his looks on the way he turned out. (Obviously it's his demonic lineage.)

erratic - 2010-02-28
This is glorious. I just had to draw a quick caricature:

oogaBooga - 2010-02-28
That should be framed.

spikestoyiu - 2010-03-01
Looks like the monster whose hand gets flushed down the toilet in the movie House -- fuck, someone please tell me they know what I'm talking about.

oogaBooga - 2010-02-28
If you have a constitution or wisdom of less than 16 YOU ARE TOTALLY FUCKED.
SteamPoweredKleenex - 2010-02-28
And if this guy didn't use charisma as a dump stat... what DID he use?

Lindner - 2010-03-01
Can we just reroll a new character? This one didn't work out.

SteamPoweredKleenex - 2010-02-28
"I don't need DNA to perform a curse."

Well, that's good, I don't see any present.
Johnny Madhouse - 2010-03-01
This is so horrible.
memedumpster - 2010-03-01
Welp, I'm straight, bring on the pussy!
Camonk - 2010-03-01
Were you gay before you saw this? Cause if not, I mean, this is just a pretty basic, everyday thought for you.

I was straight before I saw this but now I'm like... triple straight. Every male, including myself, kind of makes me want to vomit, right now.

memedumpster - 2010-03-01
I used to be gay, but now that concept fills me with existential dread. This person may actually be the cure the Christians are looking for.

kwash - 2010-03-01
I'm now gay, because this thing came out of a woman's vagina.

StanleyPain - 2010-03-01
Say what you will about 4chan, but they root out some great YouTube people.
kwash - 2010-03-01
five stars and i'm ten seconds in
duck&cover - 2010-03-01
The ham, it stank up YouTube.
Caminante Nocturno - 2010-03-01
She looks like she was carved out of lard by someone who wasn't paying attention.
phalsebob - 2010-03-01
By the Guardians of the Watchtowers!
Disaster - 2010-03-01
I left this guy a comment. I asked him if he knew how ridiculous he was being and if he realized that this was just going to make things worse on him. He sent me a reply that was basically "OH GIGGLE! YOU MORTALS ARE SO FUNNY!". That "spell" he casts sounds like he's seen Tamara too many times.

Also, every time he opens his mouth, it reminds me of my rat when he yawns.
Camonk - 2010-03-03
Fuck you, man, rats are adorable and pleasant to be around.

zatojones - 2010-03-01
Where did this person get 00?
Stopheles - 2010-03-01
He sold his hat and borrowed the other grand.

Hooper_X - 2010-03-01
His upper lip just doesn't move. At all. Everything else is jibbling and wobbling, but that upper lip is just fixed.

(He thinks he is being edgy and transgressive. he is mostly just being a sad goofus.)
chumbucket - 2010-03-01
Lotney Fratelli lives!
APE_GOD - 2010-03-01
I don't even know where to begin with this, so I will just leave it at saying that the title of this video is absolutely spot on.

APE_GOD - 2010-03-01
Okay, I've collected myself:

Its cartoonish charade of malevolent eloquence combined with the limited vocabulary is absolutely fabulous.

charmlessman - 2010-03-01
Imagine how awesome it would be if all those curses came true. There'd be a a new WhippedCreamHippo video of him saying, "OH MY GOD!! What have I done?!?" Then the cops and me laughing.
zerobackup - 2010-03-01
pastorofmuppets - 2010-03-01
Screw the PD, we need to do whatever it takes to get this man(?) a TFL hat.
MrBananaGrabber - 2010-03-02
fucking fuckitty fuck fuck

I tried to write something intelligible, but I think this beast broke my brain. Congrats, you have done what all the vore, gore, and insane fetishes on the internet could not.
themilkshark - 2010-03-03
This was hard to watch. Scary looking person thing.
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