Big boy driving a big truck, the multiple times he's failed at drinking water, toilet paper on his shoe while struggling up the stairs to AF1, being unable to close an umbrella, having to ride a golf cart for a few blocks at the G7 summit, not being able to walk down a handicap ramp, all of the times his wife has sneered behind his back in front of world leaders.
That's just off the top of my head. The game is changed, and this fat fuck is going to swim through Shit Creek. He's not coming out clean, but he never was in the first place and his base likes him that way.
I had the same idea, submitted it, saw this version in the hopper, and voted myself dupe for the first time ever. I still like my slow motion version better, though. It contains the super trumpian line: No one knows what it's like to feel these feelings / like I do / and I blame you!