I'm not so sure this guy is white. I think he might be Lebanese or something; I know a Lebanese guy who talks just like this. All the time. About everything.

Also, his logic seems a little iffy. I wouldn't assume his middle school buddies are gonna be that much cooler with excessive estrogen levels than just being tubby.

"do you know what I'm tawlkin about?" he probably gets a lot of wedgies..that's right people, you heard me, W E D G I E S

He skirts around the term, but you know it's there. At the tip of his tongue, fueling this rant. Bitch tits.

Yes, sir, vinegar tits. Whatever you say.

I suppose his man-boobies prevent him from getting close enough to his walls so he can wash the dirt off of them?

Someone's gotten felt up in the locker room!

Another reason to make fun of Will Wheaton.

I sat through that whole damn thing and he didn't even flash us his tits. :(