This guy can talk... and as a citizen of the state of Illinois I will be the first to say that he is a slimy, guilty, bastard who deserves to rot in jail. He, however, will not go to jail because the attorney general moved too quickly. Enjoy your 15 minutes, Rod. They're almost up.

Life seems to defy parody nowadays

This is part 1 of 4 (title amended to specify this). Rather than tempt the multiple submission, here are links:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TlJlFT-kzws
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=npputT7Bnj0
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tNKb6vK_7Pw

Jesus, look at him. That's a man whose world is collapsing. If he admits his wrongdoing, he is a disgraced man, and his life as he knows it is over. Friends and family will be distanced, in many cases irreparably. The only option he can see is to lie, to himself and to everyone else.

But in his heart of hearts, he fears the many dark days ahead, the stench that will cling to him and repel nearly everyone until the day he is lowered without dignity into the earth. Ahead he sees anguish unlike anything he has yet experienced, and his fear shines through.

1) his denial of guilt makes me lawl

2) If he was republican, letterman would have brutally skewered him. This shit was soft-ball.

We should sentence him to free meals at the Prytaneum!

and yet after all this publicity he's the type who will likely end up with a .45 in his blood coated mouth dressed in nothing but underwear (women's underwear)

oh and needs a zeitgeist tag