Moon Nazis, the 4th Reich, illuminati. All red herrings. The real enemy are the Reptilians. He is filling the minds of the youth of this community center with filthy lies.
I read a National Geographic article about how homo habilis used more advanced tools than otherwise thought. As we all know, anyone who can use primitive tools can also build spaceships. There were news reports of mysterious alien ships landing in Sweden, which the government claims were ducks flying together under a tarp painted like a UFO *snort*. Obviously our species was created by alien time-travelers who split into primitive and advanced species, one taking to the stars, the other being us. They came back in the 1970s to form the pop supergroup ABBA. This is all documented. That is because their songs are necessary for fighting off the zombie invasion. If you've been following my logic thus far, you should already be rubbing soup in your hair to keep out the brain rays.
While reading this I thought "yeah, if you saw some cave dwellers using tools, there'd be no reason to think they couldn't attain interstellar travel in two million years."