You're a mean one, Mister Hitch.
You killed our God, you mis'rable sonofabitch!

Hmm. I _am_ miserable and I _do_ want other people to share in my misery.

I hate Christmas and I'm an atheist and have no interest in stealing it.

My newyears resolution every year is to steal xmas, but I forget all about it by the time I actually have to steal it.

Why wouldn't you want to steal Christmas? It comes with all of the presents, right?

You look pretty miserable yourself there ole Pat.

Hey, you call off the war on Halloween, we'll stop fucking with Christmas.

We didn't start this fight, BUT IT IS ON, ASSHOLES!

The amazing thing about this is how he can compare atheists to the grinch yet not realize the whole point of the story. Even if atheists wanted to and succeeded in outlawing the celebration of christmas, you could still practice the important meaning of it in your heart. The ridiculous scenario of atheists destroying christmas would actually be the only thing that could save it from the commercialism that strangles it.

As always with Pat, I couldn't bring myself to watch. Are atheists out to murder Christmas, or steal it for themselves? Is Christmas to become secular?

Recently learned that the first American Christians banned Christmas because of its pagan roots. This actually makes sense. How can these guys be anti-halloween and pro-christmas?

Something I had to come to terms with many years ago is the fact that I will not get to see Pat Robertson die on camera, screaming and clutching his chest while blood spurts out of his nose, and maybe his forehead would collapse in and spiders would come out of his exploded eye-sockets and immediately begin cocooning his stupid fucking head or something. The odds of that happening are pretty much next to nothing.

But when he dies, he will cease to exist, and the welcoming arms of oblivion will envelope him the same way they will envelope us all someday.

Probably well before me.

That has to be enough.

Those mean old atheists are trying to ruin Pat's 127th Christmas.

The one drop rule applies to everything, it seems. The President isn't half-black, he's just black. If one gay couple gets married, it ruins marriage for everyone. And if someone isn't celebrating Christmas then Christmas is ruined and the terrorists win again or something.

The only people trying to ruin Christmas are religious people trying to create a war on Christmas.

It's a secular holiday. Jesus wasn't born on that day, so I don't know what the fuck Christians are celebrating.

Happy non-denominational holiday gift-exchanging season.

Happy Winter Solstice, bitch

There are lots of reasons to be miserable if you're an atheist, and Old Pat embodies most of them.

(PROTIP: not believing in god is not one of the reasons)

Pat remembers the simpler times when the Christmas season would come around the bend and all he had to worry about was those greedy fucking jews.