Cackle the pain away.

I never understood why Santas are at the Mall: As discreet as any parent can try to make it out to be, you're a fucking kid at a mall while your parents are doing... "something"... not buying you that Lego set or a Pogo Ball, that's for sure.

A heavily accented "I don't speak English" works wonders in all kinds of situations.

Is she the same news lady that was holding a very angry cat? Nobody wants anything to do with her.

So baby talk to me
Like shoppers do

Merryl Streep's evil twin? On speed?

I bet she's great in the sack.

The mall equivalent of the noodle arm car lot scarecrow.

Welcome to the San Fernando Valley bitch. We've got shit to do.

"I CAN'T BELIEVE HE KEPT WALKING AWAY!"

Someone should really inform these people that talking to a TV reporter the most important thing they could possibly be doing with their lives. Look at them, walking around, doing things unrelated to being on TV. What a hollow existence.

She seems to find the lagniappe concept amusing.