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Comment count is 33
Old_Zircon - 2014-01-06

I have kneejerk suspicion of anyone who can't improvise.

Plus he's Michael Bay.


baleen - 2014-01-06

He probably has anxiety disorder, hence the need to blow everything out of proportion.


fedex - 2014-01-06

I think you mean out of the sky, or water....or possibly the moon.


infinite zest - 2014-01-06

And to think that he directed Pain and Gain, which, for a Michael Bay film at least, was enjoyably smart, creative, funny and action packed.

I'm not saying I like the bulk of his movies (although "The Rock"'s always fun) but I'll give him more credit as a human with a functioning brain than most people will after this incident: company-sponsored events like this one often have very specific scripts with keywords that cannot be altered, because someone else was paid to write them. While a Michael Bay might be able to go off on a tangent about how Transformers can take you into a whole new world, or how "Bad Boys" and "The Rock" created a template that many modern action films use, but what Samsung wants is why his works should be enjoyed on Samsung products.

To summarize, he was between "The Rock.." and a hard place.


Xenocide - 2014-01-07

"I GET PAID TO DREAM FOR A LIVING."

"MR. BAY, TELL US WHY YOU ARE SO GREAT."

"WELL, BALDING SHILL, YOU SEE..."

Come on, Michael, how hard is it to improvise your way through a public blowjob?


baleen - 2014-01-07

fedex I was attempting to make a joke about both anxiety and michael bay's tendency to blow things up.
damn you!


Hooker - 2014-01-07

Pain and Gain is probably his worst movie.


Old_Zircon - 2014-01-07

""The Rock" created a template that many modern action films use"

This alone is unforgivable.


infinite zest - 2014-01-07

I'm not defending the guy, but I did unapologetically like "Pain and Gain," for what it was: an historically accurate re-telling of the Sun Gym gang, released just in time for the confession we all knew was coming from Lance Armstrong.


chairsforcheap - 2014-01-06

Imagine a black person doing this.

oh wait

milli vanilli


Shoebox Joe - 2014-01-06

Imagine the worst Milli Vanilli joke ever made.


Shoebox Joe - 2014-01-06

Oh wait.


infinite zest - 2014-01-06

Silli Vanilli


Shoebox Joe - 2014-01-07

Sorry PoeTv! Dropped the ball on that one.

I really did mean to finish that joke!


SolRo - 2014-01-06

CES later hit by mysterious overly-dramatic explosions


infinite zest - 2014-01-06

Can the TV turn into a robot too and Aerosmith jump up on the stage and kill it with the power of rock and roll? Pretty pretty please?


SteamPoweredKleenex - 2014-01-07

"CES was rocked today by a series of wildly destructive yet entertaining explosions. No casualties were reported as everyone was able to run or walk away from the blasts in slow-motion."


deadpan - 2014-01-06

They should have played that Transformers sound effect the moment Bay turned into a guy who remembered the check's already cleared and he doesn't give a fuck.


sosage - 2014-01-07

I have to go now. My planet needs me. WOOOOOOP!


RocketBlender - 2014-01-07

This is just delicious.


memedumpster - 2014-01-07

Transcript from the teleprompter.

"If you read this out loud, your family dies. Walk away, Michael, walk away or we at Apple will destroy all you love and know. Utterly. Walk away."


The God of Biscuits - 2014-01-07

Eh, I think people are being too hard on him. The guy's a director, not an actor, and there were thousands of people in the audience. It's possible he just got stage fright or something.

Oh wait, this is PoeTV, do I need a joke about explosions?


snothouse - 2014-01-07

YOU CAN'T TALK ABOUT YOURSELF FOR THREE MINUTES?
Part of being a director on his level is taking meetings everyday with billionaires, celebrities, and leaders. I think he can handle the Sony junket presscorp.


The God of Biscuits - 2014-01-07

Pretty sure the only part of being a director on his level is to make movies that sell really well.


mouser - 2014-01-07

I want to see an edited copy of this with explosions.


Hammer Falls - 2014-01-07

Exactly. He wanted to improvise. When he looks at the TV during the hesitation, you can see he's thinking, "Explosion."


Riskbreaker - 2014-01-07

Turns out the guy has no imagination. Shocking.


chumbucket - 2014-01-07

Michael Bay: Television Salesman


TheOtherCapnS - 2014-01-07

He was recently quoted about this as saying, "I guess live shows aren't my thing"

WELL THAT'S TWO THINGS WE CAN CROSS OFF THE LIST


Scrotum H. Vainglorious - 2014-01-07

Now if only he'd do that on the set.


Jet Bin Fever - 2014-01-08

Well that took me on an emotional ride... TO HILARITY!


exy - 2014-01-08

I'm sorry, guys. I'll have my assistant try to fulfill my contract with a followup tweet.


exy - 2014-01-08

And for goodness' sake, never ask this man to "wing it."


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