So far I haven't heard this one do the car alarm ACK-ACK-ACK-ACK-ACK thing most of them do when they really want to pop your eardrums.

This must be what Americans look like to non-English speakers.

They also live an average of 40 to 60 years. Imagine your cat given that much time to develop its personality defects.

They are also destructive as fuck. I knew some people with one and they put their fucking cockatoo on the back of the couch and it walked over and bit my glasses in half and they thought it was cute.

I stopped visiting those people and decided I really fucking hate pet birds.

And smart as fuck. Not sure if they're as smart as crows, but still. I mentioned it in the other Cockatoo video but my Australian uncle threw a shoe at his Cockatoo some 30 years ago and the Cockatoo's still an asshole when he's around. Whereas I get to visit them maybe once a decade, and he seems to remember me each time and is very polite, like he remembers me even though I've grown a couple feet, grown a beard, etc.. that's better than I can say for most humans.

That's bullshit about your glasses. I think our comments might have overlapped. With friends like that, I'm only assuming the Cockatoo was treated poorly in the first place. Like, when people say their cats or dogs don't like men or whatever, it's kind of just a natural thing: I had to do something to my cat a few days ago that I never thought I'd have to do, and while he was pissed at me for the rest of the day, he still loved me. A Cockatoo on the other hand..

Ha! Wish there was an edit button! No, I did not try to violate my cat sexually. I was taking him to the vet and he jumped out and the only way to avoid him going headlong into traffic was to grab his tail. Just in case you were wondering :)

"Destructive as fuck."

Anything with beaks that strong and powerful is, indeed, destructive as fuck. Every bird "chews" on things, not that the owners are excused from repairing your glasses. Buttons are also a common target for birds.

Art imitates life!

Somewhere out there, there's a guy thinking that this bird and a Godspeed You! Black Emperor song would make a good team.

1st gen cockatoo replicant