Ostriches and emus are ridiculously stupid; the entirety of their brains are dedicated to making their eyes work, but they don't even work very well. I read in some nature magazine that they will continue running at something they know is dangerous because their stopping distance is around a kilometer. So if the ostrich saw a car 500 meters away in its path it would take another 500 meters of running for the concept to sink into its stupid brain.
As a result they are constantly running into things and dying.
Disappointed that there are no ostrich chess cyclists in this video.
Speaking of, what are people using for their chess programs these days? I liked Chessmaster 9000 a decade ago but I can't even get it to run any longer. I'm currently using Lucas Chess, which is free, but it has a tendency to freeze up.
What's sad is what would have been an obvious answer "how do you not find a chess program" is inappropriate because we live in a time when the latest release of Tetris had a framerate of 4 and came broken.
You could get an NES emulator and get a Battlechess ROM.
This is the dark ages of entertainment (and probably most) technology QA, so until the PS4's magical future hardware can run a game playable smoothly on the ZX Spectrum, you might consider carving your own pieces out of jade and onyx.
MY phone? Not hardly. I still like the old flip phones that you can get for from Dollar General; they don't come with any cool programs but god damn if they aren't good for actually talking on.
I used to like Chessmaster 9000 because it could advise you on best moves and then explain in English why it thought those were best moves. Lucas Chess will give point ratings on each possible move but it's very often unclear why it rates one move above another.
I'm going to let you in on a little secret that my grandfather passed on to me, many years ago: always cycle with a samurai sword in case of large bipeds.