People who don't drink coffee deserve to die.

I've never been more serious.

Things "just seem to happen" to people that don't drink Wilkin's coffee.

There's no better marketing technique than straightforward intimidation and threatening.

These are like the "Miller High Life" of Old TV.

More people have been killed in the name of coffee than any other cause in the course of human history.

This must have been before the "anti-direct insult/death threat" to customers law got put into effect on mass media.

I wonder how that second commercial tested with audiences, what with the blob puppet being shot point blank in the head by a snub nosed pistol.

"As to advertising, it insults the intelligence of the viewer. It is geared at know-nothings ... About the only clever advertising on the air today is 'Wilkins and Wontkins'. It pleases rather than irritates television audiences, and I am happy to learn that this series is bringing increased sales to the sponsor."
-John Marshall Butler (R-MD) February 19, 1959

Shit can I still get Wilkin's?

This television advertising campaign should have come with door to door salesman. "Hello, you may have seen our ad on television, we represent Wilkins Coffee... may we come in...?"

They should just put these straight back on TV.

Submitted: Godard's Drinking Problem

Kermit spent his tadpole years in and out of reform school.

Man, Proto-Kermit was a dick