EvilHomer - 2013-04-02
Yes. Yes. I am satisfied. VERY satisfied indeed. But... I'm worried. I fear I may be TOO satisfied.
Consider. We can all agree that the benchmark for "cute girls playing the harp" was set by Joanne Newsom, yes? Now Miss Newsom has a very complex and nuanced appeal. She's got an awkward beauty, with elfen features and this sort of quiet, disarming, sexless innocence that gives her that otherworldly quality she's famous for. She strikes you as being arty, but not pretentious, nerdy, but not insufferable, clever, but not condescending. She's the perfect, non-threatening fairy waif next door.
But then you've got these two, holy crap. They're just... wow. That hair, those eyes, oh god their tits, so perky and round, mmmphhhh they're goddamn Priestess of Aphrodite, a pair of angelic valkyries sent from Valhalla to sing us to our glory. It's a little intimidating, really. AC/DC, AND Iron Maiden? Skyrim, AND Game of Thrones? It's all a bit too much.
Now, it could be worse. They're remarkably demure for such pretty chicks, and I think we're still a long way from seeing the harp rock scene descend to the same levels of crude carnality as the rest of pop culture. But then again, we all said that about Jewel back in the 90s, and we saw how that turned out. How long until we see painted whores twerking to the sounds of their autotuned harps?!
So, no! Thank you, but no! Take your stars and leave me be! Leave me by this roadside, leave me, as I try to forget the vision of loveliness I have borne witness to this day!
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