That's exactly why I don't trust Anthony Bourdain but I do trust Andrew Zimmerman.

I've never seen a muffin-top on a latex glove before.

No! Bad! Just because someone is fat doesn't mean they know about food, even fatty foods. You get fat from eating too much shitty food, not usually from eating too much good food. And fat cooks are usually fucking lazy slobs.

You haven't lived until you've had BBQ like this (and unless you grew up in the south or lived a few years in the south you won't know what it is.)

BBQ isn't a grill. It's not 'cooking out'. It's a special way of cooking meat so that it cooks a very long time with a low heat and gets super tender. You can also get it cooked it in a smoke house to add a nice smoky flavor if you want.

BBQ changes region by region. The two big differences are what meats are barbecued and what the sauces consist of. The basics are pretty much standard.

It's sinfully good and if you eat it every day without working on a farm or working heavy labor to burn it off you will get fat. Every once and a while though is just fine, and it's heaven.

Jesus, you are fucking stupid.

Eating pig every day without any kind of fiber in your diet will make you fat.

I bought 4 lbs. of pig shoulder a few weeks back for .50 a pound and put it in the dutch oven for a few hours in a wine and cooking sherry marinade with a bunch of spices and carrots and onion and what not, and it turned into several meals better than most things you can get at a decent restaurant for a plate. Pig shoulder is fat as fuck though and hard to remove the fat even by spooning it off the surface as it simmers, which is probably why it's so cheap. If you ate that everyday you'd be dead before 45, but it sure is good.

You're a terrible Jew, Baleen!

You've never eaten BBQ where you get the food served with the bones as if they ripped it straight from the pig. This whole pig looked tasty, especially the shoulder, the ribs, and the bacon.

That looked like some seriously good, tender meat. Slather that with some good sauce and eat it with some corn and beans and cold slaw and you've got yourself a meal.

Born in Alabama, lived most of my life in Tennessee, and been cooking professionally for about 12 years now. In fact one of my bosses used to compete in the Memphis BBQ festivals. I've forgotten more about Southern food than you will ever learn, unless this is Frank Stitt's PoeTV account.

I'll admit though, this presentation (which would be laughable if it wasn't completely nauseating) is obviously appealing to fucking tourists.

You told us you were a scientist.

: (

I mean, all I need to know about your knowledge of and taste in food you gave me by saying that the bacon looks appealing to you. It's completely flaccid, none of the fat has even rendered. They just stuck supermarket bacon in there between the belly and rind for no good reason (besides that they are hacks), and what it creates is 'steamed bacon'. Guh.

I am meme. I cooked for about 8 years, went back to school, then cooked my way through college.

Fuckin liar! I'M MEME.

I mean, you can just TELL the guy didn't have sex with the pig first.

Welcome to the internet. I'm an astronaut and I know more about the world than you do. I also have a pet giraffe and was the grassy knoll.

I'll let you know when I actually care about your fancy made up pedigree.

Also, since they had to pull the bacon from the pig, that's the original bacon from the original pig. I'm not sure why you'd think that they stuck bacon in there from somewhere else. Also, if you cook a whole pig that way the bacon will look just like that - just as it looks if you cook it with vegetables with a slow cooker all day. And it's still mighty tasty.

"Cooked your way through college" - meaning you were a short order cook somewhere bouncing from job to job

"My boss was" - but you weren't.

"Cooking professionally" - means you were cooking as a job. Flipping burgers.

If you were really that good of a cook you wouldn't be in science, you'd be making money with a restaurant or two since they're just big business in the south.

WAAAH THIS GUY COOKS A PIG IN A DIFFERENT WAY THAN I AM USED TO WAAAAH

Never go to an authentic Luau where this is how they cook the entire pig for everyone. WAIT OTHER PEOPLE FIGURED OUT THIS WAS A _GOOD_ WAY TO COOK A PIG AND DIDNT CONSULT YOU???

*snert*

We have a foodie! Let me know when you send your pictures of uneaten food to instagram.

Better call the ER and make sure there is room at the burn unit, TheOtherCapnS

Which is it? Is my pedigree fancy and made up, or do I just flip burgers? I think you're just trolling, but I'm bored so I'll respond in earnest.

'since they had to pull the bacon from the pig, that's the original bacon from the original pig.' - Wait, what? If they stuck bacon in there, they would still have to pull it out...

'I'm not sure why you'd think that they stuck bacon in there from somewhere else.' - Because pork belly isn't arranged in strips when it's still inside the animal. Nor can you magically pull out strips of bacon from a cooked pig.

'"Cooked your way through college" - meaning you were a short order cook somewhere bouncing from job to job' - Nope. Closest I've ever come to short order cook in my career was when I was at a hotel. I only stayed about a year because the food was boring.

'"My boss was" - but you weren't.' - Chefs teach their cooks what they know. That's how the profession works.

'"Cooking professionally" - means you were cooking as a job. Flipping burgers.' - You said that already, but again, nope.

'If you were really that good of a cook you wouldn't be in science, you'd be making money with a restaurant or two since they're just big business in the south.' - AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! HAHA! Oh, wow! I don't even know where to begin, but you clearly know nothing about the job or the industry.

Wait, I take that back. If you're one of those people who is gonna retire by opening a little restaurant, and you'll spend all your time talking to regulars, maybe whipping up a little something special now and then in the kitchen, let me say "Go for it!" It isn't that much work, and success is practically guaranteed (for you). You'll love it.

'Never go to an authentic Luau' - Well since I've never been too keen on fully and obliviously inhabiting the Ugly American stereotype, don't worry; I won't.

"WAIT OTHER PEOPLE FIGURED OUT THIS WAS A _GOOD_ WAY TO COOK A PIG AND DIDNT CONSULT YOU" - I never said anything about slow cooking. I said this presentation, and the guy digging his fat mitts through the meat is fucking revolting, and for ignorant tourists. Like you.

You both are so fat and annoying.

This is exciting! Five stars for exciting!

Capn,

That wasn't a perfect strip of cut bacon. That was bacon pulled from the pig. Every other part of the meat is tender enough to pull anything apart. It's obvious he didn't add bacon from somewhere else for that pig. I don't know why you're making that up.

You still haven't shown how you are such an expert at cooking, or how else you barbecue a whole pig without it being somewhat messy.

Putting your hands in it to get the meat is gross? He's got gloves on. How else do you get the meat out? With a nice silver knife and fork set?

Many whole hogs are cooked for BBQ.
The meat comes from the hogs.
Chances are your meat was retrieved by hand same as this guy did.

You may be from the south, but so am I. If you think cooking a whole pig and getting the meat out by hand is revolting, then you've never had or made real BBQ, or you should probably stop eating it because a lot of your BBQ meat is done that way. You lost all your BBQ credit when you said that cooking a whole pig and putting your hands in it to get the meat is gross.

Never watch what a butcher does, if stuff like that grosses you out. Also, stay away from a farm where they slaughter cows or chickens.

Not once did you show that you were an expert in it, or that you knew at all what you were talking about.

Your boss was the BBQ king, not you. You were a short order cook. Considering how many terrible meals I've had at hotels and at other restaurants, that doesn't make you an expert on food. Any idiot can cook food. Only a few people can cook it well.

EWW MY FOOD LOOKS MESSY I CANT EAT IT AND THAT MEANS ITS BAD FOR YOU AND ME GRODY GRODY GROD GROD.

Jesus Harriet, just stop.

No, let her continue.

This is her POE moment.

Right you are. It's not technically barbecue if it's not cooked on a skewer from the barbe to the cul