Needs more gravitas.

Hey, did anyone else see that movie "Monkey Shines"?

... but are they trained to jerk you off? If you don't have control of your arms, I could see that being a major problem.

MONKEY HATE CLEAN

"Not to mention, a buddy."

This shit is so awesome, the monkeys are totally enslaved, but it doesn't matter. As long as that guy is best buddies with his Capuchin, all is right with the world.

So, do the monkeys change their own diapers?

Isn't this the basis of a South Park episode?

The clip of the monkey turning the pages of the celebrity gossip magazine made me wonder if I would do more exciting activities to impress him, rather than have my monkey slave judge me for asking him fetch my Buffy DVDs for the sixth time.

This is David Sedaris's favorite charity. He tried to get me to donate to it.

this works ok up until you introduce them to beer and cigs

I can't wait to eat that monkey...

monkey and microwave.. what could possibly go wrong?

not slaves, butlers! they're monkey butlers. they're better off in that guy's home than tyrannizing Indian villagers.

A fucking monkey is more capable to thrive in human society than you. Try not to make a mess of yourself while it babysits you.

Man I'd be such a cynical asshole if I were handicapped.